A partially-autonomous theme park experience built on 5,200 km² of contested geopolitical real estate. Six sectors. One founder. Zero treaties signed.
Spiritual founder, namesake, and permanent honorary mayor of Donnyland — depicted in his customary stance: planting a flag in disputed terrain.
This portrait was commissioned by the Office of the Board to commemorate the Founder's contribution to Donnyland — namely, lending it half of his name. He has not been informed.
A copy hangs in every gift shop, every customs booth, and every restroom within the park's contested perimeter. Removing it without authorization is a Class III diplomatic incident.
Donnyland sits in eastern Ukraine, in a slice of the Donbas region currently changing hands roughly twice per news cycle. Approximately 80×65 km of rolling steppe, abandoned coal infrastructure, and one provisional theme park.
Before booking your visit, please consult the U.S. State Department, the Ministry of Foreign Affairs of Ukraine, the Russian Federation, your travel insurer, your therapist, and a competent priest.
(don't worry about the shelling)
Rocket up — and crash down — on the world's most volatile thrill ride. Drops adjusted hourly based on a Truth Social feed.
Redraw the official park map with a giant marker. Approved alterations are immediately ratified by your guide.
A gentle boat ride through a hall of singing world leaders, each thanking the President for something different.
Step into a fully-immersive land where every astronaut salutes you and every alien is paying tariffs.
Walk through a gallery of geographic features, public buildings, and tropical storms recently renamed in your honor.
All-you-can-eat well-done steaks, ketchup, and Diet Cokes. Filet-o-Fish on Fridays. No vegetables on the premises.
Each $DONNY token is a single-day admission to the most loosely-defined sovereign entity in modern memory. Sold on Pump. Redeemable nowhere. Backed by vibes, a flag we designed last Tuesday, and the personal vanity of a single foreign head of state.